Blameless Responsibility


I am continuously amazed by the mind’s craftiness and ability to create such convincing theatrics and stories. What’s more interesting is how easy it is to get swept into these stories and undoubtedly believe them to be true. Admittedly, it’s easier to be consumed by the mind’s stories because we can justify our reactive behaviors (attacks, gossiping, and judgments), relinquish our responsibility for our own inner peace, and remain the victim. Blaming others is instantly gratifying because we are allowed to cling to our comfort zones and fully convince ourselves that we were wronged.

On the other hand, taking a closer look at the mind’s stories requires taking responsibility and letting go of our justifications and excuses for reactive behaviors. It also requires questioning some of the things we have believed most of our lives, which can be frightening. In a sense, being responsible also means being vulnerable, which is a skill most of us have long forgotten how to do and yet both skills are the very things that set us free. We are bound to the vicious cycle of reactivity as long as we allow false stories to dictate our lives. The good news is that at any point, we can assume responsibility and reclaim our freedom.


“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man’s-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again.” -Pema Chödrön 

Things come together, things fall apart, and things change. It’s one thing to know that everything changes but it’s another to truly appreciate it. There is a sense of vulnerability, humility, and gratitude that comes with truly understanding that all will change. Over the past few weeks, several areas of my life have changed quite drastically. While it would be easier and also habitual to cling to what was, I have chosen to appreciate the changes for what they are and for what they are revealing to me.

Whenever things change incongruently with our plans, the accompanying vulnerability and humility produce fear but also create a refreshing and more clear sense of reality. Any suffering that occurs as a result of these changes shows us where we need to let go and where we have been clinging to a reality that we created only in our minds. Additionally, we are being reminded to appreciate the uniqueness of every moment for the mere fact that all circumstances will eventually change forms.

If we allow it to, change reveals within us a raw vulnerability that we often try to avoid and hide most of our lives. However, if we appreciate this vulnerability and accept it openly, we create a space for true fulfillment. Our strength is in our vulnerability and it appears as though life is continuously trying to remind us of that truth.

Mahalo for reading! May you experience infinite peace and blessings!

With deep love and appreciation,