Illness as a Blessing

For the past week, I had been feeling pretty ill. It was quite an eye-opening experience for many reasons, the primary being that I hadn’t felt sick in years. In a very grandiose way, I had convinced myself that I could never get sick. Thankfully, I was humbled, and I was able to have an opportunity to learn so much from this most recent episode of illness. Here are some of the lessons I learned:

  1. Acceptance is the easiest way to live. While it’s one thing to know this intellectually, it’s transformational to experience it. When we are in a state of acceptance, we allow life to carry us instead of trying to swim against the current. I noticed when I first felt symptoms, I was trying to deny them. Although I intellectually knew the importance of acceptance, it was hard for me to actually carry out the practice of acceptance in regards to my health. We fear accepting things because we believe that contentment will lead to complacency; however, that does not have to be the case. Acceptance allows us to fully immerse ourselves in the present moment so that we can make the most appropriate choice based on where we are right now. It is through such a deep level of acceptance that we are able to experience quite profound moments and shifts.
  2. Be at peace with doing nothing. There’s a societal expectation that we always ought to be doing something and that we should always be busy. Do, do do, go, go, go. We fear taking a break because we feel like we’ll never catch up on our to do list. The truth is that our to-do list can wait and possibly be tossed out ;-). Life does not have to be about checking off items on our to-do list, instead it can be about enjoying the process of simply living and being. We can enjoy moments where we do absolutely nothing, and we can feel guilt-free about those moments.
  3. Sometimes we don’t need to know why. Curiosity without attachment to an answer can be a fun pursuit but when we are obsessed with finding answers, we can become stressed. I wanted to know why I was sick, what was my body trying to tell me? Instead of being unattached, I was determined to uncover why. But the why wasn’t entirely clear and fortunately, it became comical because I realized finding the answer why wasn’t what was important. What was important was my need to rest and do nothing, not to continue to run around searching for answers. The obsession with finding answers can drive us crazy. Whenever the pursuit of the why is no longer fun, we have lost touch with the truth.

All this to say, I feel much better now and I can laugh at the experience. We become so engulfed in the need to know why, the effort to stay busy, and the fight against what is. We make life much more complicated than it really is despite our inner knowing that life is so very simple. Sometimes we’re lucky enough to get sick so that we can be reminded of the truth. 😉

Intentions and Behaviors

Turtle Bay is one of the spots we love to visit.

Turtle Bay is one of the spots my love and I enjoy visiting.

How often do we look to see whether our behaviors are in alignment with our intentions? Although I used to say that my relationship with my partner was my number one priority, energetically and behaviorally, my priority was work and my business. More often than not, I allowed work to consume the majority of my time and energy throughout each day. I would even allow work to be the dominating topic during conversations with my partner, until one day I realized, it simply didn’t feel good nor did it make sense. If I’m claiming that my relationship with my partner is my number one priority, then why was so little of my energy going to our relationship?

I was out of alignment. My intention was to make my relationship number one but that intention did not find its way down to my behaviors, at least not until things began to feel bad. And that’s how it sometimes goes with us humans, it’s not until we suffer that we really start to become conscious of what’s going on, which is why I believe, pain is a gift. The pain led me to wake up and see the disconnect between my intention and behaviors. Once I became aware and was able to feel the consequences of my choices, I was then able to truly make my relationship a priority in my life.

The truth is intention is not enough, our actions must match. Many times, we do not realize that we’re saying one thing but doing another. Fortunately, I no longer take for granted my partner’s loving and patient attitude, and I recognize that it is my responsibility to walk my talk.

Mahalo for reading! May you experience infinite peace and blessings!

Reflections & Intentions

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As 2015 rapidly approaches, I’ve taken the past month to reflect on 2014 and set my intentions for the new year. Here are some of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned over the past year:

1. Trust the process and most importantly trust myself. Most of the time, my intuition is spot on about what I need to do. Despite knowing this, there have been many times this year where I have talked my way out of listening to my intuition, particularly in regards to my business. I find that it is easy to succumb to doubtful thoughts when it comes to the Aloha Center. I convince myself that people do not really need healing and perhaps by having a business in the personal development industry, I am contributing to the problem. On one hand, that is absolutely true, at the core, we are all perfectly fine, and our greatest challenge is that we have simply forgotten who we truly are and confused our identities with this temporary existence. However, on the other hand, it is incredibly helpful to have supportive individuals along the way who can be hold up the mirror so that we can see ourselves clearly. Although I believe that our spirit does not need development, navigating the world with the temporary identities we choose to create can be challenging particularly if we have forgotten who we truly are.

Our suffering is unnecessary and many go through this life feeling stuck. As such, my original vision for the Aloha Center was to provide a supportive space and to serve as a reminder of who we are and what matters most in life (love). As we come to the end of 2014, I recognize the value in the services I provide and intend to go forward with my original vision, no longer allowing doubts to cloud my vision.

2. Enjoy the process. This year, I learned the importance of enjoying the process instead of focusing purely on the outcome. Racing to accomplish achievement after achievement is not for me. While it may work for some, I prefer taking time to enjoy the steps along the way during my attempts to achieve a particular goal. Life feels much more fulfilling when I  embrace the moments along the way on the path to an “achievement.”

3. Balance surrendering versus being proactive. There are definitely some things we simply must surrender to while there are other circumstances in which being proactive and selective makes more sense. Being selective about how and where I choose to direct my energy and attention has been incredibly helpful. Remembering that I do have the power to shift my attention and redirect my energy has greatly enhanced my experiences and made me feel less like a leaf in a stream and more like a paddler in a stream, who can elect to go with the flow of the stream but can also choose to paddle at will. Discernment of when to surrender is perhaps the most important component of this lesson.

Here are some of my intentions for 2015:

1. Recognize when I’m allowing doubts and fears to dictate my actions. The mind is such a crafty instrument that I usually don’t recognize when I’m allowing my fears to take over until I’m knee-deep in my thoughts. I intend to be more vigilant and do more check-ins throughout the day. I notice that this happens most when I’m not grounded, so more mindfulness throughout the day will likely help with this.

2. Be open to receiving. I realized this year that I struggle with receiving, particularly financially. I intend to stop sabotaging my financial success by being open to receiving and by unpacking my beliefs and programming about money, which really is just energy.

3. Align my actions with my intentions. I have such great intentions yet sometimes I notice my behavior is not in alignment with my intentions. This is particularly salient during interactions with my wonderful partner. One question that has helped me tremendously is “how do I want my partner to feel?” Remembering this question in the moment helps me to respond genuinely and lovingly as opposed to reactionary. Although this is directly related to my first intention, it deserves its own number because my relationships are such a high priority in my life.

4. Know that every moment is a new beginning. While these year reviews are helpful, the reality is we always have an opportunity to start again every moment. We can reset at any time.

Thank you for taking the time to read my reflections and intentions. I’m wishing you a joyous, prosperous, and love-filled 2015! May you and your loved ones experience peace and infinite blessings!

The Destructive Path of Ignorance

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“People who do not know who they are, are a danger to themselves and others.”

Someone I dated once said this to me during our breakup. At the time, I felt the words didn’t apply to me or the situation, and simply dismissed them as being angry. But my journey has shown me that they are absolutely right. I was absolutely destructive as a result of not knowing myself. The theme continues to reveal itself as I de-condition from the things I have been taught and have the opportunity to fully see who I am. I see now more than ever that I have hurt many people due to my own ignorance. Despite having great intentions, my ignorance spread like wildfire, blossoming into explosive agents of destruction.

Upon this realization, my heart flooded with compassion for all who have engaged in harmful acts (including myself). All harmful acts are truly a result of ignorance regardless of their intentionality. When we look within honestly, we are able to see parts of our journey that were really harmful to others, the very parts that we often hide from ourselves to protect our pride and ego. Even as I look back at my blog, I see posts that are laced with ignorance but I choose to leave them up because they were true for me at the time. The same goes for this post, one day it may not be true but in this moment, it is true for me.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to get down to my core essence. While this process is not always beautiful and fun, it is honest, raw, and authentic. There are days when I mourn the person I thought I was because this journey continues to push me to let go of all false notions of self. On the flip side, due to this “letting go” process, I can honor that I have removed another barrier that was preventing me from knowing my true essence. I appreciate everyone who has stood by me during this painfully beautiful process of discovery.

“The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.” -Pema Chödrön

Mahalo for reading! May you experience infinite peace and blessings!

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*If you liked this post, you may like a similar post titled “Transformation“ and you may also like my book of quotes, which can be downloaded for free here.