I am continuously amazed by the mind’s craftiness and ability to create such convincing theatrics and stories. What’s more interesting is how easy it is to get swept into these stories and undoubtedly believe them to be true. Admittedly, it’s easier to be consumed by the mind’s stories because we can justify our reactive behaviors (attacks, gossiping, and judgments), relinquish our responsibility for our own inner peace, and remain the victim. Blaming others is instantly gratifying because we are allowed to cling to our comfort zones and fully convince ourselves that we were wronged.
On the other hand, taking a closer look at the mind’s stories requires taking responsibility and letting go of our justifications and excuses for reactive behaviors. It also requires questioning some of the things we have believed most of our lives, which can be frightening. In a sense, being responsible also means being vulnerable, which is a skill most of us have long forgotten how to do and yet both skills are the very things that set us free. We are bound to the vicious cycle of reactivity as long as we allow false stories to dictate our lives. The good news is that at any point, we can assume responsibility and reclaim our freedom.
The recent shooting of Mike Brown instantly triggered one of my most painful memories. When I was 16, a dear friend of mine was killed by an undercover police officer – he was shot in the back seven times. For many years, every time I heard about another police shooting, I would become angry, hopeless, and overwhelmed with grief. This time is different. While my heart felt heavy after hearing about Mike Brown, I ultimately had a very different reaction. I remembered that nothing that happens is a coincidence. Coincidences simply don’t happen. While things may appear to be coincidences on the surface, everything that happens has a collection of underlying circumstances that culminated to create the event. Remembering this has helped me tremendously by recognizing that all situations are opportunities to become aware of the underlying beliefs and causes that create events.
It appears that life “calls us out” and is continuously inviting us to “wake up” and see things for what they are. Life does not allow us to sweep our collective beliefs under the rug as if they aren’t there. Life will always bring to the surface the deep-seated beliefs and data that sit in our subconscious. Even our tendency to oversimplify things by trying to resolve gaping wounds by assigning blame does not work. While I empathize with reactions of anger, grief, and hopelessness, I believe one of the most empowering things we can do is view situations as an opportunity to take a look at how we are contributing. Ultimately, we are all responsible. We all contribute.
Mahalo for reading. Wishing you infinite peace and blessings!
“There is no such thing as “out there,” all that appears to be going on out in the world is actually going on within me. Therefore, peace begins with me.” – paraphrasing of a statement originally made by Dr. Hew Len
“He made me angry.” “She made me upset.” “It’s their fault! They make me sick.” These are all common phrases. The similarities across each of these statements is the release of responsibility. When we blame others, we simultaneously relinquish our ability to change our attitude, our perceptions, and our experiences. Additionally, we slip further into the illusion that someone other than ourselves is responsible for our inner peace and for what’s going on in the world. We are responsible for our peace at all times regardless of what may appear to be going on externally. I’d like to emphasize that we are also responsible for the world as it is today.
Yes, it may temporarily feel good to blame our parents or the government but again there is no one to blame. We are not victims, we are responsible. Taking responsibility is perhaps the first step in recognizing who we truly are. When we acknowledge the truth embedded in the ancient Egyptian phrase “as above, so below, as within, so without,” we can begin to see more clearly and act accordingly. Our programming (memories, emotional responses, and collective agreements) suggests that there is something “out there” but what happens when we look again at what we’ve been taught? Might it be that we are completely responsible and if so how does that change the way we operate in the world?
Mahalo for reading! May you all experience infinite peace and blessings!
“Blaming others is the easiest way to relinquish our power.” – Candace Thoth
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*Pono means righteous or harmoniously
As I continue to practice ho’oponopono, I am recognizing the utility of taking one hundred percent responsibility for my choices, perceptions, and my life. We often blame others when we do not want to take responsibility for our own lives. In the moment, it feels easier to point the finger at someone else and if we can’t do that, we then choose to blame ourselves, resulting in guilt and shame.
Blame does not serve us nor does it serve anyone else. Rarely does the act of blaming result in a “productive” discussion or resolution of issues. When we blame ourselves or others, we trap our energy in a resistant state. Responsibility, on the other hand, allows for adaptability. Until we take responsibility, we will feel powerless and unable to navigate our circumstances. Taking responsibility means we acknowledge our inner strength and our innate ability to work through situations. We also accept that we are responsible for our perception and have the ability to change our perspective at anytime.
Accepting one hundred percent responsibility for my life has resulted in more peace. At times, I do find myself wanting to blame others but instead of allowing that thought to control me, I observe it and let it go on its way. I find peace in the idea that when I take one hundred percent responsibility, I have the choice and the power to change my outlook on any experience.
Below are some affirmations related to responsibility:
I release the desire to blame myself or others
I take full responsibility for my life at all times
I recognize that taking responsibility is a way to honor my inner strength and power