Boundaries as Compassion


Boundaries are important and essential in developing healthy and fulfilling interpersonal interactions and relationships. Boundaries are a way to communicate our level of self-respect and dignity. Without boundaries, we set ourselves up to be disrespected and mistreated whether it’s intentional or not. The things we remain silent about or do not state clearly will not be honored and may even be challenged or ignored. Passively allowing unacceptable behaviors (e.g., disrespect, abuse, etc) to happen to us does not benefit anyone. Boundaries are important to set with everyone we meet. This past week, I had my boundaries challenged in an unexpected way which fortunately served as a reminder of the importance of having a clear awareness of my personal boundaries as well as stating them in a way that can be clearly understood.

I encourage us to view boundaries from the perspective of compassionate limit-setting as opposed to guardedness. When boundaries are set in a respectful and loving way, they can deeply enhance interpersonal interactions and relationships. Below are some self-reflective questions regarding boundaries that you may find helpful.

Self-Reflective Questions

  1. What are some of your boundaries? (e.g., behaviors that are acceptable versus unacceptable)
  2. How often do you communicate your boundaries to others?
  3. Which situations do you find it more challenging to maintain your boundaries?
  4. What feelings are elicited when your boundaries are breached? How do you cope with these feelings?
  5. What are some ways to enhance your ability to maintain your boundaries?

Mahalo for reading! May you experience infinite peace and blessings~